My passion and commitment

Like my second post to this blog, the following blog is taken from my multiply site and I would also like to share it with you. This was written when J was still a baby and it is about my early months of breastfeeding. Yes, this is my passion and commitment. I can proudly say that breastfeeding my son has been one of my greatest achievements - and we are still up to it - near 26 months and more months to come (ayayay!) But I am enjoying it (have even pictures breastfeeding in public in my FB page - yes, breastfeeding by demand, anytime, anywhere!). But mind you, breastfeeding a baby and breastfeeding a toddler is WAAAYYY different. And I know toddler breastfeeding moms can attest to that. Would post about it next time =)

Here is the blog:

 

Before I gave birth to Joaquin, I had myself committed to breastfeed. As a nutritionist, I know that it is the best thing I can give to Joaquin after taking good care of him in my womb. Luckily at the time of my pregnancy, our agency has been training government workers on breastfeeding and complementary feeding. I was able to attend the Training of Trainers on Infant and Young Child Feeding when I was six-months pregnant. It was enlightening because it gave me an overview of what I will expect when I will breastfeed my son.

After which, I was really decided to exclusively breastfeed my son…

When I gave birth to Joaquin on 8 February 2008, I was excited to see him and breastfeed him. Little did I know, a test was going to drive me to the brink of post-partum depression.

My mom at first honored and supported me in breastfeeding Joaquin when he came out. I breastfed him during his first days at the hospital, even without or little sleep from an overnight labor (I gave birth to Joaquin at 9:42 AM). But my mom, not well informed of the benefits and common problems encountered with breastfeeding, she was bugging me that Joaquin may not get enough milk from me since he was constantly crying in his first days. I was not letting her get into my nerves (hehe! Sorry mom!) because I knew stress would inhibit my milk flow. She was constantly bugging me that she can’t see milk in Joaquin’s mouth and even from my nipple. Little did she know that the colostrum can be thick in consistency and would not really flow like the mature milk. When we got home from the hospital, I resumed to my normal diet (since I know that I can eat anything even when I’m nursing). My mom again told me not to eat this and that. Well, I just let her talk. Hehe!

February 11 – Joaquin got fever, I panicked. We called his pediatrician, he made me calm down and gave instructions what to do. Joaquin’s fever subsided but spiked midnight.

February 12 – Early morning, I was panicking because Joaquin was not getting any better, his temperature even reached 38.5. We brought him to the Emergency Room of the Makati Medical Center. He was admitted. The doctors told us to stay calm and they will try to find out why he has fever. They interviewed me and I gave all details I know to be sure that doctors can trace why my son is having fever spikes. Their suspect at that time was sepsis infection because I had UTI on my 8^th month, most likely, it is.

My mom was worried sick too. But that also gave her the idea that my breastmilk may have problem because I ate mangoes and drank fruit juice the night before. She told me to ask the doctor about my breastmilk, if its okay and it might have contributed to Joaquin’s fever. But I know it’s not the problem. Hayyyy! Talk about pressure and stress…

During Joaquin’s confinement, my mom would sometimes give information to the doctors coming in aside from the details coming from me. From my mom’s blah blah, she told the doctors that Joaquin may not be getting enough milk from me because he always cry. The doctors then said that he may be dehydrated because he may not be getting any milk from me. But they were not concluding anything because as they said “it’s hard to conclude because our patient is just an infant and can’t tell what’s hurting him.”

After that, my mom scolded me and told me that Joaquin may be hungry already and must be given formula milk. I didn’t want to but they were really pushing me to call the doctor to prescribe formula milk for Joaquin. Even my husband (who is supposed to support me) and my father were up to it because they were worried for Joaquin. I understand their position but I know, I know better. I cried a lot after that because I felt I lost a BIG battle. While they were preparing the milk for Joaquin, I wasn’t the one who gave it to him because I was crying at the corner of our hospital room. I can’t imagine my son taking other milk but mine.

My mom though comforted me that I can resume breastfeeding Joaquin if and when my milk will start to flow. (Not many know that breastmilk will flow if baby suckles frequently from the mother’s breast. During our stay in the hospital, I would still insist breastfeeding him but when they hear him cry, they give additional milk from the bottle which pains me a lot. At that time too, one of my breasts bled – adding up more to my stress – I was becoming hopeless in my trying to breastfeed Joaquin). What I did, I just gave him the other breast and my mom told me to let the other breast heal before resuming. She also suggested that I pump the other breast. I had roller coaster emotions during our hospital stay and it was one of my hardest and darkest moments of my life. I felt I was incapable. When I was breastfeeding Joaquin during his admission, they would give him the bottle in his next feed. It was very hard for me. But for the people around me, they thought it was just normal…

For 2 and ¾ months, Joaquin was on mixed feeding, but I breastfeed him most of the time and every chance I get. My mom would always say, “you are bounded with that and will make you do nothing else but just feeding your son.” I just ignored it and breastfed Joaquin on demand. I also instructed and told our yaya on my goal to breastfeed Joaquin. If I’m home during my maternity leave I breastfeed Joaquin, when I go out, since I wasn’t able to pump in between feedings (haven’t mastered breastfeeding…), he takes the formula. I count every bottle he takes, the least possible bottlefeed, the better.

Now I’m back to work, I express milk in the office three times a day. During my first weeks back to the office, of the 4-5 feedings Joaquin have, 3 of which are breastmilk. The rest is formula… But as I get to master and getting used to breastfeeding, I now also express milk early in the morning to complete 4 feedings for Joaquin and even during weekends. Our yaya and I have made a routine to update each other with Joaquin’s feeding time. I call her before going home from office so that she will not thaw the 5^th extra breastmilk stored in our freezer and that Joaquin’s next feeding will be with me. Talk about love and sacrifice.

Before Joaquin turned 3 months, I made a decision that I will and I CAN breastfeed Joaquin exclusively in the next 3 months. With prayers, sacrifice and determination, I am exclusively breastfeeding Joaquin eversince. It’s been a month and a week and I’m determined to do it till he’s six months and continue breastfeeding him until he is 2 years old and even beyond.

It has become my passion and commitment to breastfeed Joaquin. And thank God I have now my husband’s and my family’s support. Thank God… I pray that He empowers me and give me all the strength I need in my passion and commitment. And soon or even now, I would love to help pregnant women and mothers to prepare and breastfeed their babies. I want to inspire and be inspired.

Breastfeeding at pedia's clinic (waiting in line)

J at six months

 Happy little man!

I am blessed with breastfeeding J. I did not experience severe problems nor super biting baby (oh yeah, he does bite but rarely and just like testing it - i just give him the "look"). Haha! I am thankful that aside from my family, my work and workmates were very supportive. With the environment I have, I was and I am able to continue and sustain breastfeeding J. Thank you so much for all the support and help.

As I've said, breastfeeding has become one of my passions... Surely, you will read more posts on breastfeeding in the future. Our journey to breastfeeding has not been that easy but being determined and supported by people around me meant and helped a lot.

J, near 26 months

Isn't he a cutie? (yeah, stage mom here)

For other moms out there, trying to figure out breastfeeding and even after the exclusive 6 months breastfeeding- I am here to help. 


Do you have your own breastfeeding story?